"It's been months. Some hearts just get all the right breaks. I'm glad I've been through and grew out of it. Because some just ain't worth the pain, no matter how less painful you tried to make it seem."
"You didn't teach me how to, I merely realise how foolish I was, picked myself up and moved on. Now I treasure the little things in life, the precious moments with your dearest, more than ever. I learn to love with sense, maturity and understanding. I've not mastered it, but I'm trying to. Love is never about luck. It's about embracing the differences, no matter how different he is from you. Perhaps this is something you should know, when you said I was just too different. I still believe opposites attract, opposites complement. Just like him. Look at us. Everyday I fall in love all over again. You're such a sweetheart b, really."
- Ruth
Just another writer,
still trapped within my truth.
| Monday, November 30, 2009 |
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6:23 PM
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| Friday, November 13, 2009 |
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Without trust, everything falls apart. "It was the most comforting feeling, having you next to me, hearing your heart beating. In that moment, everything was close to perfection. In that moment, I’ve never felt so safe. My mind was at ease and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything else. I knew I had you right where I wanted you. You are my very first thought in the morning, and my last when night falls." -eletheowl. random muses of the day   'flawless' skin + mega ice cream for 3. Goodnight world. 12:52 AM
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| Wednesday, November 11, 2009 |
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“In life, people come and people go, but you learn to know that, the people who stay are the ones who will always be there, through all the bull shit, drama, good or bad times. They will be beside you, and you realize those are the only people that you truly need."     I know I've been coming back to this page at snail speed. But that's because exams are coming!!! And Sem 1's coming to an end. How fast is that. Anyway, Rubberband made appearance on Zaobao last week. Here's the online link: http://yzone.omy.sg/index.php?articleID=16159&option=com_article&task=detail&cid=144&type= "Rubberband乐团 I'm very happy for all of us, given the that we formed our band just a few months ago. The perf at Kent Ridge Hall last wed was quite an experience, and I'm sure we can do better for our next perf (Youth Challenge) at Vivo Amphitheater on 21 Nov! We'll be doing up a Mando Pop medley, and a combine performance with Cai Aijia. Been studying hard for exams for the past few days. Seriously can't wait for all the upcoming events after exams. Taiwan trip with the fave peeps after exams. Short getaway to Langkawi with my family. Watch JJ live @ Zouk. And performing with Winnie at Jasmine Tye's very own concert. All in the month of Dec................ Can hardly concentrate (write songs, other out of school matters) without the thought of exams haunting me. Oh did I mention that... I REGRET TAKING CHINESE STUDIES MODULE!!! I have given up the thought of even doing it as a minor. Exams please come and go fast. 6:10 PM
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| Thursday, October 29, 2009 |
  This is my band ( : I'm Happy. Met up with Xueling Laoshi together with Nat for lunch yesterday. Long time no see. Anyway having Voices Mini Concert @ NUS Dentistry Auditorium this Friday 30/10 at 7.30pm. Admission free. Come support! (: Also having a series of performance with Rubberband (my band) in the month of Nov (yes we haven't thought of a proper band name to change to, but soon.....) for Youth Challenge in support of President Star Charity, and also for Nestle. Details up soon! Performing crew @ Haidie is keeping me busy, but I'm venturing into new areas and equipping myself for the better. My schedule is, what can I say, packed, like seriously packed, to the extent I find myself rushing from one place to another and drop dead at the end of the day. It kind of hit me that final exams are just 3 weeks away.... AND WHAT AM I DOING?!?! I'm not done with my 3500words Chinese studies term paper, Japanese term paper... Rah. Thankfully I scored relatively well for my CNM essay, and it makes me feel that I'm not that wrong to be in Arts Faculty afterall. Cool. Funny how my mood changes unpredictably. But at least now I'm happy. Things are all good. ( : 1:36 AM
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| Thursday, October 22, 2009 |
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I really hate this. 2:37 AM
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| Sunday, October 18, 2009 |
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How many wrongs make a right. Did I mention that this week is such a busy, hectic, horrible week? Not to mention loads of rubbish that added on to it. Seriously considering to move into hall. Sometimes life at home is just so unbearable. Especially when you've been trying but your efforts are overlooked because people choose to focus on the minute, insignificant wrongs. So what should I do to make a right then? I hope next week would be a better one. Because I'm sick, mad, and cranky. 2:59 PM
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| Thursday, October 15, 2009 |
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"Just because somebody flirts with you, doesn’t mean they like you. Just because somebody likes you, doesn’t mean they love you. Just because somebody loves you, doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you. Because people lie, Boyfriends cheat, things change." Never actually thought there was a fine line between like and love, because to me it used to mean a process of one leading to another, a natural thing. But as I grow older, everyone else around seem to believe they exist independently, it hit me why certain things happen to me and why certain feelings even affect me. A smart girl kisses but doesn't love listens but doesn't believe and leaves before she is left. Tell me about it. Smarter or not? Photo updates:  13/10/09   With Val & Jawi, in Jawi's hall.  Bored at home.   Pluck @ Haji    With Bei, Yeeshian 23rd Birthday@ Quality Hotel  @Vivo Whitedog Cafe.  @Pluck xoxo, I'll be back. 12:54 AM
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| Sunday, September 27, 2009 |
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How does love revive. Hello I'm back. Today's fine, a fine fine day :) Anyway, many of my friends are getting married. I have one to attend this coming Thursday, and another one next month, woo. Blissful season. And I'm singing for the HDB again, from 3-5 of Oct, at various Heartland locations (Loyang Pt, Dawson Place, Woodlands Mart) in lieu with Mid Autumn Festival :) Going to cut my hair tomorrow, at Next Salon. Gonna go for a major change. Short hair!!! Okay maybe not THAT short, preferably something like long bob. Like this:  Okay I like this, my side bangs looks like that now.   Pretttttty! A sudden realization that straight bangs are not for me. Because my jawlines are angular, and it only makes my face look even more square. So for the period of time I had straight bangs, I believe I actually looked quite horrible. HA. I'm very particular about right proportion for the things to wear recently. I mean, everyone can dress according to the latest trend, but I think it's far more important to consider about whether it tallies with your body proportion. Like.. Off shoulders, and just wearing plain spag tops alone are definitely not for people like me with a small shoulder frame. I just cannot carry it off like how some girls with nice collar bone and angular shoulder can! So I'll probably have to top it off with a blazer, jacket to add weight to a petite frame. And I always think I look horrible with knee or close to knee length dresses, so if I ever wear one I'll have to wear at least a 4 inch high heels. And also things like, how tights and high waist bottoms may not be for everyone, esp with not so nice legs, it can turn out to be quite a fashion disaster. Actually I think all I've said are common knowledge lol... pardon me for sounding bimbo-tic. Okay, anyway I packed my room this morning, finished up my mid term test readings, just a touching up a little bit more tomorrow and I'm good to go! Jiayou jiayou! xoxo. 1:04 AM
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| Thursday, September 24, 2009 |
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Don't let someone get in the way. My day was good. I'm back from DT at around 9 plus (yea 9pm sharp crap, tell me about it), but anyway, I'm going back DT again later! so the night is still going to be good :) Anyway, what's up with girls that are like that. Manipulative-control-freaks. I'm not directing this at anyone in particular. Serious. Guess what, despite all the anger, I've decided to overlook them and be the bigger person. Take that - - - - - . 11:47 PM
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| Saturday, September 19, 2009 |
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I miss everything. Thursday was Mando Pop Night at NUS Munchy Monkey. I think the performance went well. Kudos to Yanjia, Qianhua, Ben, Winky, Qinni, Roger! And also Joel and Marcus for taking time off to rehearse with us over and over again :) And also many thanks to Shengda and Friends, Collin for coming down to watch us. Maybe it would have been better if you were there. But anyway, made my back back to Haidie to do a video recording for President Star Challenge. It was a very last minute decision from Rubberband (lol) to audition for the event. Friday morning was spent Steph and Val, we had a good time catching up. Then back to Haidie for demo recording, and this very much sums up a boring Friday. It's recess week next week! Hopefully I can do some proper catching up with my readings, and study for MID TERM TEST. I feel a little distracted, a little lost. I need to get back to the heart of everything. 1:40 PM
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| Thursday, September 10, 2009 |
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Yes. I flared up yesterday. On a Tuesday. On a day I thought things would be great. I'm not going to be apologetic for reacting a certain way. Quit the usual habit for saying sorry at the end of the day, reckoned it was time to be me. Of course I wasn't expecting positive response from people. Right now I'm fine already. Just don't want to listen, explain or think about it anymore. See no evil, hear no evil. Believe it or not, it was difficult for me. How? Enlighten me. What are promises? What is trust? What is honesty? Do I still believe? 1:12 AM
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| Monday, September 07, 2009 |
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"You can’t jump for the stars if your feet hurt. And when you get where you’re going, you darn well better look great." Finally caught up with my readings. I'm on a study mode for the whole of today. This feels almost like JC days, days before the horrifying A levels.... Okay I think I exaggerated a little lol. Enjoy spreading all the notes on my bed, laying them side by side, and then chucking them aside after reading. At the end of the day I look at them with a sense of accomplishment.... And do you know I reward myself with one Ferraro Rocher after I'm done with every set of notes. That gives me 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 .. 4 .... 6 Ferraros for the day!!! Lol Fat. Let's just hope I'm not reading for the sake of doing so, and I comprehended at least 50% of the information overload. Having said so.... I'm not exactly done for the day. Back to Japanese Politics. Omg. Yes. Politics. And I thought I was apathetic. 12:23 AM
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| Friday, September 04, 2009 |
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Sometimes I wonder how it's like, to be someone's number one. If you notice the little change on my sidebar.. that's my look as of now. HJ laoshi reckon I should change since eons ago but yea like what I've said, lazy is my first name. Now that the picture with long hair and super single eyelid look is gone, please stop saying I'm from China.. Yes HJ laoshi I'm referring to you lol. And I hereby clarify that I am a true blue Singaporean. You can't blame me for trying so hard justify myself when 3 random people approach you in a week to enquire about your nationality. I've been reminiscing alot, just browsing through random pictures, notes, sinking into the self inflicted emo mode. It's amazing how time flies, before you know it its the month of September, and soon the much anticipated part of the year. At least for me it seems better for me when it all ends. It took me so long, probably up till now, to recover my sense of direction, know where to head to. Well, just not completely yet. Emotional roller coaster, loops like time, has a slow start, highs and lows that go round and round in cycles, then builds to a final primal scream. Looks like I haven't reach the end of it, yet 12:09 AM
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| Sunday, August 30, 2009 |
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My Birthday Wish.. I haven't been blogging much about my interesting life. This is a summary: - Joined NUS CAC VOICES. To know more people with common interest. So far it's been cool and the Welcome Bash was great! ^^ I can't wait to get down to practice, learn from one another and perform (: - I'm doing up a new homepage, a better looking one, at least better than this space here. - Kudos to new found friends in NUS. Nice people project groupmates like Annabelle (she lives one street away from me!) and XiaoQuan. - AND I'VE GOT SOMETHING HUGE TO ANNOUNCE: I went for water baptism today!!! 29th August. Was hoping to actually go on the 30th, on my birthday, but ohwell 29th is just fine. So now I'm officially Ruth Kueo Miaoru. I love this name, and I heart my Father Almighty for blessing me with this chance to be baptised one day before my brithday. - School has been rather good. Coping well with the workload, just lagging behind occasionally for the readings.. - Steph is coming back to Singapore next week! For goooooood. I'm so happy ^^ - I'm lacking inspiration for this new project, By2's song for their new album, it must be some BA LA song, like 我知道 type of song, hmmmmm....... And I feel so guilty telling Junyang I'll send him the song last week and up till now I haven't ): - I still haven't upload all the photos from the China trip. My first name is Lazy. And that reminds me that I have been seeing Junyang and Huanjie laoshi around, but certainly not Jacky, who seems to have disappeared... lol. And today's my birthday! I'm offically 19. I realise as you get older you don't really fancy celebrating birthdays anymore ): I'd rather spend my birthday in peace.. Today will be fun I guess ^^ Off to complete my genes and society assignment. 12:32 AM
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| Wednesday, August 26, 2009 |
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解药 I'm almost done with my new song. Got Yarden to help me with the arrangment, can't thank him enough!! 我不要两人之间夹着困扰 却也不想勉强说一人真好 寻找解药 我不让你看到 红着眼洒着泪哭的脸 又戒不掉注射的回忆毒药 I want my heart to be still. Nothing at all, just to feel a little more secure and at ease. There's a constant reminder at the back of my mind, over and over again. I'm afraid to step out. 12:22 AM
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| Monday, August 24, 2009 |
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Insanity. Why can't people understand that all I want to be is just friends, at the very most, good friends. Matters of the heart.. I need to stop all these from coming in. Things get awkward, unnatural and I seriously do not know how to handle them the right way, without hurting anyone. I guess it'll hurt no matter what. I'm just a girl, still mending a broken heart, but strong enough to be hopeful. It's strange how love works this way. Karma. I'm very much confused. 1:20 AM
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| Tuesday, August 18, 2009 |
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I'm back to Sunny Island. Hello. I'm back. Pictures tell a thousand words, but my Dad stole my camera and ran off to Vietnam, so... I'll post them when I get hold of my camera lol. Plus Junyang has 900+ photos of all of us throughout the entire trip (credits to Haoliang哥, from 北京海蝶森林） All I can say is that, it's a wonderful trip! A good whole 7 days spent with Huanjie Laoshi, Jacky, Junyang, Yang Pei and Haoliang 哥. Many many thanks to Yang Pei and Haoliang哥 for hosting us, bringing us around for good food, making sure we are not bullied by the TV crew there (hahaha), and just being of great assistance to us for the whole week :D It's also a great time of 'bonding' with the 3 masketeers. Junyang, Jacky, and HuanJie Laoshi, who never fail to call me 大头如 for the ENTIRE trip. Imagine how I was still trying to entertain them for the first few days and afterwhich I got tired, let it be, and allowed them to call me that for the rest of the days. LOL. Oh and it was a time I saw the true colours of all 3 of them. What happened in China shall be left there and I shan't tarnish their reputation over here in Singapore (:(:(:(:(: Experienced how tiring it is to 'work' in the showbiz, rehearsing from noon time and back in your hotel room at 3am everyday..... I'm only doing that for a week. Imagine the TV crew who has to go through this every single week. Thank goodness. I have tons of story to tell! Can't possibly spill all of them here, so yep, you can ask me! I was put up against 丁少华 in the show. If you have been watching the show, he's like the favourite guy with a large fan base over there in China. The thing which got me really pissed off was that the live band played my song wrongly during the show, for TWO times, during the Intro and Chorus. They played something totally different from rehearsal. At the back of my mind I was wondering what's the point of rehearsing so many many many many many times before that. Thank God I reacted fast enough to handle it, or I would have made it an obvious mistake in front of national TV, live. They did not apologised to me after the entire thing, that's for sure. I lost to him with the score of 41, him 43. Close margin! After observing the entire programme, most can conclude that, it's more about entertainment value and viewership. Well okay, somethings should be left unsaid. You get what I mean if watch our episode. I'll post the videos when I'm back. Off to sch : D Me, 梦一场 Junyang! HuanJie Laoshi And Jacky! Articles:  http://ent.sina.com.cn/s/p/2009-08-15/23412655352.shtml http://www.chnxw.com/zt/huodong/200908/37479.html http://forest.ob-i.com/news.php?id=117 http://www.douremi.com/news/sub.asp?no=26414 Great job guys! 11:28 AM
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| Friday, August 07, 2009 |
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FACADE. I'm telling myself that the happiness of them is nothing but a facade. Pictures, they lie. And I sense it in you. I just know it. Of course, I'm not taking this as an opportunity to gloat. Pardon me, but this is a shield to protect myself from attack from people, to stop any hurt from coming in.. Of course there are times I feel like telling the whole world, but I'm still clear minded enough to weigh the consequences. But it doesn't mean I'm gonna be passive in fighting for what I want in life, in love, in whatever. Ha, I know for sure that there is this very mean side of me. And it drives people mad when they do not know what I can do, what I will do, and what I'm capable of. At the end of the day, I'm still happy. (: 3:25 AM
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| Thursday, August 06, 2009 |
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Close to you. BTW people, I'M NOT IN CHINA NOW. Some guy in the korean team didn't manage to get his/her visa approved in time and hence, we, would be heading to China next Monday. This means I'm going to miss my first lectures..... ZZZ. Anyway I'm really the troublesome. Being the only girl, I'm always late for their meetings, and seem to have alot of problem with the schedule. Roar. Sorry. Gonna work doubly hard for dance and playing of the keyboard this week. Busyyyyyyy. 2) Introduction to Chinese Language 3) Introduction to Chinese Studies 4) Genes & Society 5) Introduction to Japanese Studies So if you happen to be in the same module as I am.. Tell me please. So I won't be sitting at the back of the lecture halls feeling lonely, lol. And to you.. I love heart to heart talks, though most of the time I wasn't really talking alot. But, I was happy listening to your rants! Comfortable moments like these, just being laidback and all, really enjoy them ^^ I'm not giving up definitely. See this and be reminded that you should stop repeating the same lines to dissuade me every night. Yea I really think some people would hate/dislike me. But.. I don't really care. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 1:49 AM
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| Sunday, August 02, 2009 |
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HELLO EARTHLINGS, I'M BACK. I'm very much panicking for my China trip, will be leaving on Mon night, 2am flight, to Nanjing, for a PK competition, 名师高徒, together with HuanJie Laoshi, Junyang and Jacky. It's a china TV programme, 江苏卫视 and JJ Lin would be our team leader! Cool, I'm totally excited for it. But nonetheless stressed out because I had to seek help from Shuting to choreo my dance for the sing and dance segment, and also Nat for the 自弹自唱 part. It's all finalised and done up, just need more time to prac!!!!!!! I'm damn stressed over the fact that 1) I've never been onto a live tv programme 2) never sing/dance/play instrument in front of the national tv before. I think I would need alot of confidence and blessings to kill my anxieties. RAH!! But I know this is a very good opportunity for me. Portfolio, experience, everything. And I'm not done packing my lugguage! *Procrastinate* On a lighter note, I got all the 3 modules I bidded for. Introduction to Chinese Studies, Introduction to Chinese Language and Communications, New Media & Society. Yea I know at the back of your mind you must be thinking I'm a cheena pok, but I believe I can do well for them this Sem HA. I need to start off my Uni good, real good. I was really pissed off on Friday because of unpleasant issues. I really do not get her, her problem with not allowing, and I am so not afraid to type this here. I don't like to be sacrificed for the sake of someone who's ... just a passerby to me. But that rubbish aside, I totally enjoyed myself. Thanks for the time and company, I had a jolly good sat night (; Tmr will be a good day! Going down Haidie to do up a VCR, footage for the competition. xoxo. 2:46 AM
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| Friday, July 24, 2009 |
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Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful. Not that it's any special day but hey school's reopening soon! After 8 months of holiday, it feels weird to be back in school again. And that means no more late night, stay outs, sleeping at 3/4/5am and going out every single day ) : Okay the thought of all this makes me sad. I need to starting adapting to healthy, normal lifestyle, again. I'm still not too sure about my China trip, it's more or less confirmed but still waiting for further details from China side. But anyway, tomorrow's also the last day of registration for O week, I'm still gonna head down to register, just in case anything weird happens. I don't know why I'm worrying so much about stepping into a new environment. Perhaps it's the constant reminder at the back of my mind that 1) I did not go for Arts Camp 2) Gonna miss the entire O week, and that means I'll be totally unfamiliar with everything, and MAY end up being alone for quite awhile. HA. I know you must be thinking why is this my main concern. Did I mention that I hate having lunch alone? Lol. Most of my TJ counterparts in fass have their own cliques and I don't happen to be part of them. I can't possibly stick around with Darryl and Jason all the time (guys). Oh one last thing, not forgetting sitting alone at the extreme back (or front) in a lecture hall!! . . . . . Someone please tell me I'm just thinking too much :O That aside meeting Jawi on Mon to head down for FASS talk, I haven't seen her ever since, prom night. Yes prom night. PROM NIGHT! In fact, heading down to NUS for 3 consecutive days next week. The thought of travelling from my home to NUS is quite daunting. Okay, going Marcus's house later, with Terence. Record song. I'm recording for Yarden too, sometime later. They are certainly making full use of my voice hahahaha. And then HDB performance with Zach at Limbang Shopping Centre @ 6.30pm Hmm, where the banana is Limbang Shopping Centre? Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true. And everything that i do is out of lovin' you. 10:26 AM
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| Thursday, July 23, 2009 |
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Goodbye My Love This is a song for you. Light melody, beautiful song, 12:46 PM
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| Wednesday, July 22, 2009 |
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Lala, I'm contented.  Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through But nothing's gonna change my love for you You know what I can't promise, Just know that it's all worthwhile, The road ahead is not easy, I love you just the way you are. Everything's great now, I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth. (= 10:21 AM
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| Monday, July 20, 2009 |
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Still I'll be here, waiting for you. Yesterday marks the end of VerySinger course. As expected, I teared. I'm so proud of everyone!!! Especially watching all of us go up on stage to collect our graduation certificates. It's a remarkable feeling. I'm happy to be able to graduate with a bunch of talented individuals, and this definitely marks a new beginning for all of us. I see potential in many of us, be it as a performer, artiste, songwriter, vocal teacher, behind the scene or on stage, we'll all shine ^^ Much to my surprise, I received the 最受欢迎女学生奖, haha! Praise God for the favour of man.  Along side with Collin who received 最受欢迎男学生奖  With dear Beishan. Princess!  With DJ Ken from FM100.3 (host of the concert)   VS2 with 许环良老师  On Stage   庆功宴@Waraku  Beishan, Xueling Laoshi, Me Wanted to join Bryan and the rest for durian Geylang tonight, but I sense discomfort in my throat. Better not kill myself. Performances: Fountain Area @ Clarke Quay on Wed 10pm (22 July) Limbang Shopping Centre on Friday 6.30pm (24th July) 888 Plaza on Saturday 6.45pm (25th July) Love the World Bistro Bar on Sunday 5.30pm (26th July) I must get people to come for this Sunday's bistro! There'll really be a series of good performances. Heyo people please come please come please come!!! Tomorrow will be another whooping good day I know, smile (= 8:53 PM
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